The Angel in the Massive Tram that didn't Exist
It was a cold, chilly Christmas Eve night and I just got in from an exhausting day of travel.
I caught one of those pick-up trams from the airport as I have done on many occasions, but this night - this trip - although several years later, it still haunts my bones.
I've been suffering with a deep inner sadness for the last couple of months, a feeling of depression that still succumb great despair and emotions.
I sat in the front of the tram and as usual held my head down - deep in thought. I barely noticed the other passengers as they exited one after the other, I was the last passenger still remaining.
The driver immediately started talking to me. She had such a bubbly persona, very joyful and full of energy. I remember this quality about her because I thought she would never shut up but then... then her speech pattern changed, she started telling me things about myself and my life.
I immediately held my head up and started to look around in disbelief. She kept proclaiming words of encouragement telling me "I was going to be okay," "not to worry...that God loved me." I began to cry. My emotions were strong and I could not stop crying. Its as though I had finally for the past year of my life 'released' everything I held inside of me.
The driver - a full figured black woman parked the tram in the middle of an aisle, she proceeded to walk over to me and then she gave me this great big hug.
I was stiffened in disbelief that a total stranger I just met was telling me about my life and is now hugging me and all I could do is immerse deep in her arms as she comforted me.
She handed me a napkin for me to blow my nose/wipe my tears. She continued to converse with me, telling me "I was going to be okay..." and at some point I started laughing.
For the first time in months I found myself laughing as she laughed also. She started humming spiritual songs to me - I felt like she was a mother nurturing me, her young and I liked it. I felt so safe with this woman - so comforted.
It was though all the pain I had build up inside vanished and for some odd reason I grasped just knowing I was going to be just fine.
She then talked about how here it was the night before Christmas and all she received from her whole shift was $4, she then handed me her last $4 and she began to laugh as she placed it in the palm of my hand.
I tried to refuse such an offer but she insisted.
She also wrote down her name and told me if I was ever in need to call on her name.
I gave her one final hug as I exited the tram.
I think I was still in a state of confusion as I made my way into an Enterprise car rental station and then suddenly remembering I looked down and opened my hand and there was the $4.
I felt ashamed that I took this womans only $4 and I dashed out in the parking lot as I desperately needed/wanted to return the $4.
I began looking
down various lanes in bewilderment as to where could such a tram have gone that quickly and with its size how was it possible for anyone not to be able to see such a thing.
I asked several nearby pedestrians where was the tram? But all I kept getting by their facial expressions was complete look of perplexity as to indicate,'what tram?'
So I ran back inside of the Enterprise totally showing no disregard as there was a long line but I didn't seem to care my soul mission was to find this woman and this now seemingly invisible tram.
I blurted out, 'where did the tram go?' and of course all eyes were on me at this point.
So one of the workers behind the counter was gracious enough to respond 'what tram are you referring too?' I was increasingly annoyed these people were wasting my time and I responded 'the tram that just let me off'.
Then one of the other worker/female responded that the tram stopped working hours ago, as it stopped early (7:30pm) due in part it was Christmas eve. I'm now looking around to see if I was on candid camera or something as I'm now certain I am truly being punk'd for some sort of a joke. I proceeded to bogart in front of the line.
So now I'm really annoyed and I'm rambling on and on about this woman on the tram and then suddenly I remembered she wrote down her name on this little piece of scrap paper.
Huh-ha evidence or so I thought.
I read her name outloud with proud declaration or some sort and waited...the workers looked at one another when finally one of them spoke 'we don't have anyone working here by that name." "Oh really" I'm thinking how is it possible for anyone to know everyone's name who works there.
Oh steam was blowing from my ears and I now insisted on speaking with a manager.
By this time it was apparent everyone assumed I was a sure bonifide 'quack!'
So I'm speaking gibberish to the manager and he confirms there is no one who works there by that name or looks like the description of the woman I had described.
I was bewildered and deep in thought.
I walked back to the parking lot one last time hoping to get one final glimpse of this massive invisible tram that I, myself was a passenger aboard the voyage of the unknown with this make believe woman who held me - hummed several tunes to me; spoke past/futuristic words of wisdom; wrote down her name and oh yeah gave me her only $4 in cash she made for her whole pretend day of work.
Well, I never heard or saw this woman again.
I kept her $4 lodged inside a page of my bible along with this little piece of scrap paper which she wrote her name.
I felt this money was not intended for me to spend not sure what it all mean but this is what I fell in my guilt is the right thing to do.
I tried everything manageable to locate her including google, and facebook in essence this woman does not exist.
I still cry in remembrance of that cold, chilly night - the night before Christmas and the night an Angel - one of God's Angels touched my soul.
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