Complete the relationship quiz below that puts your relationship through its paces.
If your relationship were a body would it be fit and toned, in the peak of health; or would it be fat and flabby, barely able to run for the bus?
The quiz just like a gym assessment, is designed to highlight your strengths and uncover your weaknesses in your relationship.
Having found out which areas of your relationship are out of condition, we have some suggestions to bring your relationship back to peak performance.
THE RELATIONSHIP QUIZ
Get a pen and paper ready if you dare... and answer the questions concerning your relationship as truthfully as you can. Ideally you should both do the relationship quiz separately.
For each question, answer...
|SECTION A||SECTION B||SECTION C|
|1. Y:5; S:3; N:0||2. Y:5; S:3; N:0||3. Y:5; S:3; N:0|
|4. Y:5; S:3; N:0||8. Y:5; S:5; N:0||13. Y:5; S:3; N:0|
|11. Y:5; S:3; N:0||12. Y:5; S:3; N:0||21. Y:0; S:3; N:5|
|16. Y:3; S:3; N:0||19. Y:0; S:0; N:5||24. Y:0; S:5; N:5|
|20. Y:5; S:3; N:0||23. Y:5; S:3; N:0||30. Y:5; S:3; N: 0|
|SECTION D||SECTION E||SECTION F|
|5. Y:5; S:5; N:0||6. Y:5; S:3; N:0||9. Score 1 point for each Y; half a point for each S; add 10 points if you answered Y or S to e|
|7. Y:0; S:5: N:5||14. Y:5; S:5; N:0||10. Y:5; S:3; N:0|
|17. Score 2 points for each Y; 1 point for each S||22. Y:5; S:5; N:0||15. Score one point for each N; half a point for each S|
|25. Y:5; S:5; N:0||27. Y:0; S:3; N:5||18. Y:5; S:3; N:0|
|29. Y:5; S:5; N:0||28. Y:5; S:3; N:0||26. Score one point for each N; half a point for each S|
Therapists say that the largest single reason for a relationship to fail is lack of communication. 'Communicating well is something that couples really need to do in order to keep going happily,' says Dr. Maryon Tysoe, author of The Good Relationship Guide (R180, Ratkus). This is the most important section that underpins virtually everything else in your relationship. For this reason, any scores above nine needs careful analysis.
Most sexual problems can be ironed out, providing other parts of your relationship are strong enough. 'The X-factor is trust,' says Sarah Utvinoff, author of several Relationship guides.
If you have scored highly in this section you need to think about your sex life, but don't despair. Your score would need to be over 20 in this section for there to be a serious problem. Check your scores for the communication and trust sections. If those figures are low, the prognosis is very good that you can sort out your problems.
Money is one of the major squabbling points in relationships. However, once again, problems with money often go back to poor communication and trust. If your score is over 15 check these sections. If your scores are good you should easily be able to sort out any niggling money worries.
'For a relationship to develop, you need to build up trust between the two of you,' says Dr. Tysoe. According to psychologists John Holmes and John Rempel, successful partners are quite vulnerable with each other - they take risks and are very honest. As this is such a crucial section you should ideally have a very low score here. Anything above nine suggests you need serious work in this area.
You can communicate brilliantly, have wonderful sex and perfect trust but if you don't see a future together, then your relationship can't last. If your scores are high in this section it may well be that this is not a serious relationship. That's fine, as long as you both realize this and accept it. If you have scored over 18 in this section you need to check that you are both heading in the same direction.
According to a battery of anthropologists, people tend to be happiest with a partner who is roughly the same as them in terms of age, intelligence, interests, education and social background. Professor Markman says, 'The more differences there are between a couple, the less likely their relationship is to be successful. Check your answers to question 15. A high score here should be a warning sign. However, your answers to 26 will also be enlightening. These are the areas psychologists say couples should agree on if they want a relaxed relationship.
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