Relationship Quiz

Do you have a Healthy Relationship? Take the Relationship Quiz

Complete the relationship quiz below that puts your relationship through its paces.

If your relationship were a body would it be fit and toned, in the peak of health; or would it be fat and flabby, barely able to run for the bus?

The quiz just like a gym assessment, is designed to highlight your strengths and uncover your weaknesses in your relationship.

Having found out which areas of your relationship are out of condition, we have some suggestions to bring your relationship back to peak performance.

THE RELATIONSHIP QUIZ

Get a pen and paper ready if you dare... and answer the questions concerning your relationship as truthfully as you can. Ideally you should both do the relationship quiz separately.

For each question, answer...

Y (yes, agree quite strongly/most of the time)
S (agree slightly/sometimes)
N (no, don't agree/ very rarely)

When you and your partner have decisions to make or problems to solve does it ever feel as if you are on opposing teams?
Do you ever find yourself having sex when you really aren't in the mood?
Do you ever argue about money?
Do you tend to change the subject if a difficult topic (sex, commitment, money, parents, children) comes up?
Do either of you set up situations where one of you has to choose between your relationship and something else you really want? (for instance go out with friends or spend time with you?)
Does s/he repeatedly promise to phone/come round/do something for you, then forget?
Can you reveal things to each other that might be humiliating or really embarrassing?
Do you find sex is a good way to finish an argument?
Does your partner exhibit any of the following characteristics:

a) Excessively moody

b) Over-possessive or jealous

c) Neglectful or unreliable

d) Drinks or smokes too much

e) Verbally or physically violent
If you wanted a fun day out, would you tend to turn to your mates rather than your partner?
Do you ever find that little arguments escalate into ugly fights with accusations, criticisms, name-calling or bringing up past hurts?
Do you find nudity, masturbation or contraception embarrassing?
Does one of you earn far more than the other?
Do you feel you've invested so much time and effort into this relationship that it simply must last?
Are you and your partner roughly similar in terms of:

a) Looks

b) Age

c) Intelligence

d) Education

e) Social background
Do you believe that disagreement is destructive to relationships?
Would any of these worry you:

a) S/he goes off for a holiday with friends

b) S/he works in an office with very attractive colleagues

c) S/he has lunch with an ex.
Does your partner ever do/say things that make you irritated or uncomfortable?
Do you use private jokey phrases for sex?
Are you ever frustrated that your partner doesn't understand automatically what you want and need?
If one of you won the lottery would you agree on how to spend it?
Do either of you hold ideas or cherish plans that would make your relationship difficult to continue? (for instance, do you yearn to go around the world on your own; or talk about marriage as if it were a foreign country?)
Do you ever feel worried that your sex life isn't as good as other people's?
Do you know what your partner earns, saves, spends?
Do you have any secrets (undisclosed emotions, events from your past, sexual likes or dislikes, etc.) that you keep from your partner?
Do you agree about the following issues:

a) Having children

b) Being faithful

c) Marriage

d) Religion

e) Politics
Can you imagine yourselves happily together in 10 years time?
Do you ever find yourself thinking about what it would be like to be with someone else?
Do you ever find yourself holding back from telling your partner what you really think or feel?
Does his attitude towards money ever irritate or annoy you?

After having completed the Relationship Quiz LOOK AT THE TABLE BELOW TO MARK YOUR SCORES.

GIVE YOURSELF A TOTAL FOR EACH SECTION.

SECTION A	SECTION B	SECTION C
1. Y:5; S:3; N:0	2. Y:5; S:3; N:0	3. Y:5; S:3; N:0
4. Y:5; S:3; N:0	8. Y:5; S:5; N:0	13. Y:5; S:3; N:0
11. Y:5; S:3; N:0	12. Y:5; S:3; N:0	21. Y:0; S:3; N:5
16. Y:3; S:3; N:0	19. Y:0; S:0; N:5	24. Y:0; S:5; N:5
20. Y:5; S:3; N:0	23. Y:5; S:3; N:0	30. Y:5; S:3; N: 0

SECTION D	SECTION E	SECTION F
5. Y:5; S:5; N:0	6. Y:5; S:3; N:0	9. Score 1 point for each Y; half a point for each S; add 10 points if you answered Y or S to e
7. Y:0; S:5: N:5	14. Y:5; S:5; N:0	10. Y:5; S:3; N:0
17. Score 2 points for each Y; 1 point for each S	22. Y:5; S:5; N:0	15. Score one point for each N; half a point for each S
25. Y:5; S:5; N:0	27. Y:0; S:3; N:5	18. Y:5; S:3; N:0
29. Y:5; S:5; N:0	28. Y:5; S:3; N:0	26. Score one point for each N; half a point for each S

Relationship Quiz - SECTION A: COMMUNICATION

Therapists say that the largest single reason for a relationship to fail is lack of communication. 'Communicating well is something that couples really need to do in order to keep going happily,' says Dr. Maryon Tysoe, author of The Good Relationship Guide (R180, Ratkus). This is the most important section that underpins virtually everything else in your relationship. For this reason, any scores above nine needs careful analysis.

SECTION B: SEX

Most sexual problems can be ironed out, providing other parts of your relationship are strong enough. 'The X-factor is trust,' says Sarah Utvinoff, author of several Relationship guides.

If you have scored highly in this section you need to think about your sex life, but don't despair. Your score would need to be over 20 in this section for there to be a serious problem. Check your scores for the communication and trust sections. If those figures are low, the prognosis is very good that you can sort out your problems.

Relationship Quiz - SECTION C: MONEY

Money is one of the major squabbling points in relationships. However, once again, problems with money often go back to poor communication and trust. If your score is over 15 check these sections. If your scores are good you should easily be able to sort out any niggling money worries.

SECTION D: TRUST

'For a relationship to develop, you need to build up trust between the two of you,' says Dr. Tysoe. According to psychologists John Holmes and John Rempel, successful partners are quite vulnerable with each other - they take risks and are very honest. As this is such a crucial section you should ideally have a very low score here. Anything above nine suggests you need serious work in this area.

Relationship Quiz - SECTION E: COMMITMENT

You can communicate brilliantly, have wonderful sex and perfect trust but if you don't see a future together, then your relationship can't last. If your scores are high in this section it may well be that this is not a serious relationship. That's fine, as long as you both realize this and accept it. If you have scored over 18 in this section you need to check that you are both heading in the same direction.

SECTION F: COMPATIBILITY

According to a battery of anthropologists, people tend to be happiest with a partner who is roughly the same as them in terms of age, intelligence, interests, education and social background. Professor Markman says, 'The more differences there are between a couple, the less likely their relationship is to be successful. Check your answers to question 15. A high score here should be a warning sign. However, your answers to 26 will also be enlightening. These are the areas psychologists say couples should agree on if they want a relaxed relationship.

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